Series Name
Season 1, Episode 4
Air date January 23, 2004
Written by Brian Palermo
Directed by Howy Parkins
Episode Guide
Ned Frischman: Man of Tomorrow
Rite of Pillage
Beef! is the first half of the fourth episode of Dave the Barbarian.

Synopsis Edit

Candy seeks instant muscle gratification, but the magic broccoli she eats to strengthen her muscles makes her dumber and wanting to eat more.


Yar the Trainer: Lay on this bench, and I drop this giant boulder on you. If you can move it, you'll be stronger!

Yar the Trainer: You tie your calves into this machine, and this wild boar tries to tear them off. If you keep your legs, you'll be stronger!

Fang: Make up your mind. Do you wanna be alive or in shape?

Yar the Trainer: We throw you in a cage with a couple of abominable snowmen, and if you get out alive, you'll be stronger!

[Candy eats more than one piece of magic broccoli, making her more muscular.]
Fang: Holy country-style potato salad, Candy, you're huge!

Candy: You know, Candy don't sound tough enough. From now on, you call me... "The Can."

[After Candy shows off her strength by picking up an Ox and kicking it like a football.]
Biceptia: Uhh, you win.

[Dave asks where Candy is.]
Fang: Outside, wrestlin' trees!

[Fang tries to wrestle Candy.]
Candy: Fang good necklace! Pretty!
Dave: Stop it, Fang! Violence won't help- wow, you're right, she does make a good necklace.

Dave: Candy, I'd like you to read this book on the Dangers of magic broccoli-
Candy: No books! Books make The Can hurt in place where thinks come from!

Galder the Hot: Hey, The Can? Remember we made a picnic date? I just... wanted to cancel that.
Candy: Why hearty boy do this?
Galder the Hot: 'Cause the... the sun broke.

Storyteller: Yea, our heroes do seek the Master of Evolution, going on a long and perilous journey, which is pretty stupid because the Master of Evolution lives right next door to them.

Lula: Have no fear? I'm guessing you don't know Dave.

Master of Evolution: You people have no idea how much work it is to evolve something, do you!? I spent a billion years just trying to get something with a spine!

[The Royal Family tries to educate Candy via a puppet show.]
Dave[High-pitched voice.] We're gonna sing about colors!
Dave and Fang[Singing.] Red and blue and yellow! Red and blue and yellow!

[The Master of Evolution refuses to evolve Candy's body after her family fails at evolving her mind.]
Candy: What if I hang you from tree, and learn you new game called, "Piñata?"

[The Master of Evolution evolves Candy.]
The Master of Evolution: Presto, evolve-o. [Snaps fingers.]

Oswidge: And you've learned it's not what's on the outside that's beautiful, it's what's on the inside: your heart. And your liver, your gallbladder, and your spleen.


Dave the Barbarian 1x04 Beef!11:27

Dave the Barbarian 1x04 Beef!

Candy and Fang were shopping at the indoor market place, when suddenly Candy notice Galder the Hot the cutest boy of Udrogoth. Candy tried to get Galder's attention, but Galder didn't notice her. Wondering why Galder didn't notice he, Fang is surprised and show Candy Biceptia the Woman Warrior. Realizing that the guys and Galder going nuts over Biceptia because of her muscles, Candy

believes that she muscle. Back at the castle of Udrogoth, Candy complpained of Biceptia makes her look like a skinny little shrimp and she wants to find away to beef up a little. Oswidge offers Candy to give her muscles by magic, thinking his magic will turn her into a giant freak, Candy refused. Fang took Candy to gym where the instructor showed all the equipments but none of them that Candy wanted isn't survivable. After she made up her mind of getting muscles by magic, Candy went back to the castle of Udrogoth. Oswidge gave Candy magic carrots which caused her eyes to be bigger. Oswidge gave Candy the magic broccoli which caused her to become muscular. Excited of her new beefy appearance, Candy decided to go back to the barbrian indoor market place to show off.

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