|Ned Frischman: Man of Tomorrow|
|Season 1, Episode 3|
|Air date||January 23, 2004|
|Written by||Evan Gore, Heather Lombard|
A nerd named Ned Frischman travels back in time and tries to take over the ancient world using video games. When everyone is hooked on the video games, Faffy, Lula, and Twinkle The Marvel Horse (being the only ones without thumbs) must face off against Ned.
- Storyteller: Yes, Ned's depressing little life seems pointless, indeed. Until one fateful day, when a firey comet hits Ned's zipper! Seconds later, a secret experimental laser bombards the zipper with hyper-violet mercury rays! Then, it is doused with mysterious chemicals, stuck by the mystical powers of the Norse gods, bitten by a radioactive grasshopper, and taught the arcane apocolyptic of cloud men's mind by an inscrutable monk!
- Ned: Wow! That hardly Ever happens!
- Ned: There won't even be "history" any more. It'll be... "Frischtory!"
- [The Udrogothian family meets Ned Frischman]
- Candy: Just imagine, some day, humankind will wear its pants up that high.
- Ned: Behold! With the touch of a button, I open garage doors... Without leaving my car!
- [Ned goes to the present day to buy "Game Guys" for the people of Udrogoth]
- Numb Clerk: Do you require assistance loading these into your tear in the space-time continuum?
- Storyteller: And lo, the people of Udrogoth are swiftly captivated by the Game Guy's hot colors, multilevel mode, and overall playability.
- Sentry on the Left: Hey, shouldn't we watching for invaders?
- Sentry on the Right: Soon as I get to level 6.
- An Invading Warrior: Hey, shouldn't we be invading?
- Another Invading Warrior: Soon as I get to level 6.
- [Twinkle the Marvel Horse tries to convince Candy to let him play.]
- Twinkle: Shall I tell you of last night's dream? Dark forms came to me, whispering of unspeakable atrocities.
- Storyteller: Yes, to earn their batteries, the people of Udrogoth did labor mightily for Ned Frischman, constructing a sphinx of gold, Mount Frischmore, Big Ned's Putt-Putt Fun House, and the Great Pyramid... Of Ned.
- Candy: [Sitting on top of a block for the pyramid while others push.] Let me explain again: I am doing actual work! Me! I don't think you understand how completely and utterly wrong this is!
- Storyteller: But of all the tasks imposed on the people, the most difficult went to Dave: to create a sandwich in Ned's name!
- Dave: Hrm... mayonnaise or mustard? I know! A perfect blend of both. I'll call it: mayotard!
- [Faffy, Lula, and Twinkle rise as "The Thumbless Few" to overthrow Ned]
- Twinkle: For years, they have mocked us. "Oh! Oh! Look at them! They have no thumbs! Let us taunt them!" But now, who's gonna save the kingdom's bacon, huh?
- Ned's Guard: Yes! Level 6! Oh, and, uh, halt.
- [Ned steps on a pedal attached to the Great Pyramid of Ned, and the top opens up.]
- Ned: How's that for futuristic know-how, eh? Can any of the other pyramids do that? No, no, I don't think so!
- [Lula's "trick" to getting to level 7]
- Lula: Go to level 6 and ask directions.
- Ned: One day I will return to the past, and my impact will be so great, the Barbarians will be called "Frischbarians!" Or, "barbariNeds!" Or maybe, "NedabariFrischians!"