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Series Name
Season 1, Episode 1 (2/2
Air date January 23, 2004
Written by David Warick
Amy DeBatrolemis
Directed by Howy Parkins
Episode Guide
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The Maddening Sprite of the Stump
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Pet Threat
 Shrink Rap is the second half of the first episode of Dave the Barbarian.

Synopsis Edit

Dave believes helping others is his whole purpose in life and starts giving out advice as a "psychofloobicologist", later giving advice to Quosmir.

Quotes Edit

[In the Great Indoor Marketplace Dave approaches a clerk at "Ye Sick People Shop" for advice.]
Sales Clerk: Eh, I just do holes and leeches. If you want advice, I guess you could read one of those self-help scrolls... but they're all written by crackpots and weirdos.
Dave: Crackpots and weirdos!? Count me in!

Dave: At last! I know my purpose in life: to help people! And to do that, I must become... A psychofloobicologist!

Quozmir: Who dares wake Quozmir, Udrogothian god of overused punctuation!? Whoever it is, he shall pay... um, or she.

[Psychofloobicologist Dave has just asked Quozmir why he must destroy the earth.]
Quozmir: Why? You know, I never really thought about it before. Why must I destroy? Why do I feel such rage? Why do I persist in doing this atrocious combover, when I'm obviously balding. I mean, seriously, who am I fooling?

[Quozmir has just purchased two wheels of cheese at the Great Indoor Marketplace, in part of his flaming-loogie-spitting rampage]
Oswidge: Not the Cheese!
Candy: What's the big deal?
Oswidge: Cheese produces phlegm.
Candy: And?
Oswidge: And if the cheese creates more phlegm, that means bigger flaming loogies!
Candy: And?
Oswidge: Look, I'm going to put this in terms you can understand: he could destroy all the shopping!
Candy[gasps] Not on my watch!

Candy: Why are you stoping me, that' guy's a menace to shopping! Besides, if he ate all that cheese, it'd go straight to his hips.

Dave: We will use the mightiest weapon in the psychofloobicologist's arsenal: Happycrafts!

[Candy attempts to calm Quozmir's rage by reuniting him with his mom]
Quozmir's mom: Huh, he never calls, he never writes, I ask you: is this the way for a son to act?

Quozmir's mom: Herbert, what do you say we destroy the northern half of the continent, huh?
Fang: I love a happy ending!
Candy: Happy ending? They're gonna destroy half a continent!
Fang: Yeah, but not the half we live in.
Candy: Good point.

Episode Edit

Dave the Barbarian 1x01 Shrink Rap11:08

Dave the Barbarian 1x01 Shrink Rap

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