|Season 1, Episode 6 (2/2)|
|Air date||January 30, 2004|
The Way of the Dave
The Terror of Mecha-Dave is the second half of the sixth episode of Dave the Barbarian.
Dave fears he has been brainwashed to act like a bully by Chuckles the Silly Piggy when he hears rumors about himself ruining towns while on the way to the fabled 'Cliffs of Fabulous Shopping'.
- Dave: You want me to beat up your friend, Cheesette, because she gave you a fishclock?
- Candy: For my birthday! Can you imagine!? She knew I wanted a cute top to go with all the other cute things I have that make me look cute!
- Dave: Hey, why don't you just buy her something super nice, and make her feel really guilty?
- Candy: I like it! And it allows me to punish her by using my awesome shopping powers!
- [Dave shows off his clockwork model of Udrogoth.]
- Dave: Yeah, but it's broken. It's supposed to fly around shooting out colored lights and playing, "I'm a Yankee Doodle Barbarian."
- [Fang asks a Creepy Old Guy if he knows how to get to the Cliffs of Fabulous Shopping.]
- Creepy Old Guy: Aye, that I do. Ye must cross the Gorge of Agony, where a mighty beast awaits to tear ye limb from limb. From there, ye climb the Mountain of Thousand Screams, which nay a man has never faced and lived to tell the tale! Or ye could take the shuttle.
- Dave: Uh... Thanks.
- [Upon arriving at a small village, Dave is quickly beaten up by guards.]
- Oswidge: I warned you. No one wants to hear poems about a fluffy throw pillow.
- [Oswidge and Fang discuss what might be wrong with Dave.]
- Oswidge: On the other hand, Dave might simply be unhinged. In which case, all we have to do is restrain him in a pitch-black dungeon for countless years until he snaps out of it.
- [Bogmelon demonstrates a Beaver Leg Shaving device to Candy.]
- Bogmelon: It also works on armpits!
- Candy: Twinkle, my flying steed! I'm sorry I haven't visited you for a while...
- Twinkle: I've been... So lonely, in here. Such terrible thoughts one has, alone, in the dark.
- Candy: Uh, like I said, I'm real sorry I haven't visited you for a while.
- Twinkle: It's not important! No one cares about me! They think to mock, and belittle Twinkle the Marvel Horse, do they? Well it is they, they, who will suffer!
- Twinkle: I had that... dream again. The one, where I do terrible things, to penguins, with a croquet mallet.
- Oswidge: Don't think I've forgotten the most important thing: there's still fudge on the agenda!
- [Fang, Oswidge, and Clockwork Mecha-Dave go into Chuckles' evil lair.]
- Chuckles: Actually, it's the Evil Lair Boutique! I just work here part time to pick up extra money.
- [Chuckles is interrupted by a customer.]
- Shoppin' Gal: Do you have Junior Ms. Body Armor?
- Chuckles: Aisle 6, by the accessory daggers.
- Oswidge: Let's get this over with so we can have fudge!
- [Oswidge casts a magic spell and turns himself into a newt.]
- Oswidge: Note: In future, point magic wand away from self.
- Dave: It's a trick! I'm Dave! He's the fake, and I'll prove it! [On his knees.] Please don't hurt me, oh, please, please, please, please!
- Mecha-Dave: This proves nothing. [Also on his knees.] Please do not hurt me. For being hurt is unpleasant.
- Oswidge: Which is the true dave, and which the machine? No man can say.
- Oswidge: Normally, I wouldn't ask, but this is cutting into my fudge time!
- [Chuckles is interrupted by the customer, again.]
- Shoppin' Gal: Do you have this in teal?
- Chuckles: Oh, no, sorry, just sea foam or melon, sweetie.
- [Candy points out that Mecha-Dave has a clockwork key in his back.]
- Oswidge: I thought it was some kinda growth.
- Mecha-Dave: My programming has been changed, Chuckles. I am now commanded to pound you into bacon mist.
- Chuckles: Ew.
- Chuckles: Get away! I'm too pink to die!
- Candy: Fudge? I need to give her something really great so she'll feel guilty about that lousy present she gave me!
- Dave: So, tell her it's imported.
- Candy: That could work.
- Oswidge: Ah, fudge. Truly it is the greatest of the brown-colored fruits.
- Oswidge: Newts don't eat fudge!
- [Fang runs away screaming from Candy]
- Candy: [Furyously] Once I catch you I'll kick you!